habanero beef patties

Just got back from class and was winding down, getting my homework out.

Knock knock. Benny pushes a beer towards me without saying anything. Like we were intergalactic superheroes and he just handed me my flux capacitor-hyper-zoom-extenda-ring that gave us powers and I knew exactly what to do with it. Drop everything and save the world fool.

Me: Oh hey. Uh, um hi. No thanks. I really ought to do some homework. I'm way behind. Really, thank you though.

Benny: Oh  just thought that–well since you just got back home from class, right? You know. You might enjoy a beer. 

Me: Yeah I did, but even though a beer sounds great I really have a lot of work to do tonight.

Benny: Oh yeah, right. Of course. Maybe another time. 

Soon after, he's at the door again. 

Benny: Want some habanero patties?

Me: Habanero patties?

Benny: I'm making some and thought you might want some. I just mush em together with some chopped peppers.

Me: Right. Sounds good but I just had a frozen dinner, thanks though. 

Benny: Well if you ever want some food, I love to cook. I can make some porkchops. You like porkchops? Or chicken. I got lots of food.

Me: I really appreciate it but I ate and have a lot of work to do.

Benny: Just let me know if you want any habanero patties.

Unfortunately they actually sounded kinda good.

2nd encounter of the day

The night after that first porch hangout encounter, I was just leaving a bar and heading out to go do some work at school when Benny shows up. I had had a couple of drinks so I was feeling a bit iffy. 

Me: Oh hey, what are you doing here?

Benny: Well, I was just walkin' by and well I seen that you were in here.

Me: Really? Well I'm on my way to school to work on some stuff.

Benny: Ohhh that's fine. I'll walk you there.

Me: Oh that's okay. I'm fine. Really.

Benny: I'm walking that way anyway and I wanna ask you something.

Wanna go out on a date? Which way do you sleep at night? How would you like me to chop your body up before I eat it? With my nail clippers? Plastic knife from Wendy's? Do you ever stare at the sky and wonder why??  

Benny: You wanna buy some food stamps?

Me: Um, no thanks. I appreciate the offer though.

Benny: Sure? I got a bunch. Can I borrow ten dollars?

Me: Yeah, I only have a buck. I'm sorry.

Benny: Oh, well, it's okay. I got some money coming in tomorrow anyway. You know. Well wanna go to Hunnie's [local strip joint]?

Me: Yeah, sorry, no. I gotta do some work at school. Sorry. 

1st encounter of the day

I was out on my porch eating a sandwich and drinking a beer enjoying the afternoon. I even cracked open my window to enjoy some music from my stereo. Benny came out with his own beer. We talked for a bit and eventually I offered him a beer and he offered me one. A friend of mine showed up and we started getting ready to go out for a few drinks before I had to go back to school to do some work that night. 

Me: Alright, well see you later. Had a good time hanging out.

Benny: Yeah. Hey, uh, lemme know if you guys go party somewhere or something.

Me: Yeah I don't think we will. I have to go back to school afterwards so I probably won't.

Benny: Oh. Well you guys party right? [putting together his index and thumb by his mouth] Well If you guys come back and party [index and thumb again] make sure you tell me. I know you kids, eh eh?